I have been a little off the radar, but it’s for a good reason: I’ve been immersed in the whimsical world of children’s book illustrating, and I’ve just completed illustrations and graphics for The Octopus’s Holiday, a Queer little story by Paul Pycraft about some octopuses who celebrate Christmas their own special way.
It has been an octopus summer. There are approximately 256 legs in this book. Whene it comes out around November, those 256 legs could be in your house.
I’m already trucking away at the next book (stay tuned), but I wanted to pause and observe for a moment.
Illustrating a book is a test of endurance under the best circumstances; it rang true more than ever this time. Bringing smiling Doris and Shelly to life was both a welcome escape from the world and also a feat of emotional resolve. I had to dig within myself to find the joy of a childhood Christmas at a time when I am certainly not in touch with those feelings. It was both cathartic and sorrowful.
Paul’s beautiful story certainly helped me through it; Doris and Shelly guided me before I ever painted them.
I used to be a fast painter. I could focus and execute quickly. It was less about moving quickly physically, and was more in my mentality. I could sit down, break down the project into a series of steps, and just start moving through them without getting too caught up second-guessing or getting lost in details mid-way through. A clear mind helped me paint quickly; not moving my hands any faster.
To say it has been difficult for me to focus would be an understatement, but I am so incredibly proud of the work I did in The Octopus’s Holiday. I can’t help but be struck by this paradox: I struggled so much to get through this, but the result is there. It came out really good. It speaks for itself. The struggle was worth it. In a time where it feels like we are all trapped in a struggle right now that is not paying off, making so many sacrifices in what feels like an endless journey, I forgot what reward feels like.
To stay inspired, I have been trying to balance out my social media consumption (which gets pretty grim) with the world of authors and illustrators. The children’s publishing world is alive and bursting with joy and optimism, as it always was, even as the world feels like it’s burning. I sometimes feel like I only have one toe in the door of that community, but I like the vibe.
I love thinking about kids I don’t know looking at the books I’ve illustrated. Will one be the bedtime story tonight? Which pictures stand out? Which characters do they identify with? What questions do they ask when they interrupt their parents and point to a picture? Which of my illustrations have they crinkled or ripped or scribbled on? Where is it kept in their homes?
Whenever I make a piece of art, when I look at it I can remember things about the time I was creating it - they are imprinted in my brain. I can remember what audiobook I listened to, what TV shows I might have had playing in the background, and usually how I felt while working on it. When I look at The Octopus’s Holiday in the future, I can only begin to imagine what emotions will rise to the surface, but one of them will be pride.
Click here to pre-order your copy.
Click here to read more about the book and its author.
Now take a deep breath, and watch the cover come to life: